4/10/2016

The Beauty of a Paper Clip


I woke up this morning, made my coffee, and settled in to enjoy the quiet of a slumbering household.  Seriously, mornings when everyone is still asleep are the best mornings of all for me. I have this deep, loving and committed relationship with solitude and quiet.  I get the people who go and live in a hut in the mountains…but I digress.

Sitting there, enjoying my coffee (I will never break this addiction nor do I want to) I started looking at my surroundings.  Not just a passing glance at the décor, or wondering if I should hang a wreath over there, if the flowers need water, “oh my god is that a spot on the floor”? No, none of that. I actually, for the first time in forever noted the texture on the sofa, the green hue of the carpet and the swish of color in the paintings on the wall.  And like some kind of awakening moment, my little mind said, “You are surrounded by the fruits of someone’s creative mind. People designed these things; they chose the colors, the fabrics, and the styles. Everything around you is a result of creativity. Drink it in.”  Perhaps these pieces of art, which I now see them to be, deserve a bit more respect than just a toss into the basket at Home Sense with the sole intent of filling a vacant space in my house.

In this day and age, it is easy to get lost in consumerism. I mean isn’t that the goal of life; to buy, to own, to amass? Isn’t that what makes you worthy? I used to think so. I grew up poor; borderline dirt poor. Safe to say, we didn’t have squat.  Fast forward to my adult life and my need to show the world and myself that I am not the result of my childhood. Ain’t that a hoot?  I am so intrinsically connected to my childhood that inside it probably resembles a big ball of Christmas lights. Good luck unraveling that mess. 

Happily I can say that hitting my mid-40s didn’t just come with saddlebags, more cellulite and wickedly gray hair but also this newfound sense of self-worth. I have moved past the goal of impressing others; I am warmly tucked into the bed of “I don’t give a damn what you think of me.” Sure, I still have a self-rewarding mentality as in “buy it, I deserve it, YOLO” but I do it for my own pleasure, not to impress or keep up with the Joneses.

But today was a little epiphany for me.  Something deep inside of me is saying that its ok to slow down, to breath, to connect with my world in a different way and see the beauty in something as simple as a paper clip.  I can finally see these “things” as more than just acquisitions but almost as living beings – filled with the energy of the people that created them.  And that, dear reader, is kind of cool J