Triggering the Memories

I spent the weekend doing what has become the norm lately – unpacking !  I swear, will I ever see the end to these boxes? 

I found so many things I didn’t even know I still had – U2 CDs, and old pair of clip on earrings (still painful, still ugly), some sketches my dad did so many, many years ago, photos of days gone by, an old birthday card from my parents which had me sobbing and then boom, there it was:  a half used bottle of my mom’s Lancome Tresor perfume.  

I told myself “Don’t spray it. Don’t spray it” !  So what did I do? I sprayed it.  It obviously wasn’t as fresh as it was nearly 20 yrs ago and had some odd undernotes of let’s say, “gone bad”, but it was still Tresor.  And as I inhaled the scent, the tears welled up again and she was there with me.  Her scent was all around me.  Oh how I have missed that smell.

Ever since her death I have stayed clear of the Lancome perfume section everywhere I have went.  I couldn’t face it.  That smell = my mom.  It was a trigger that ignited such a deep ache I was afraid I would be lost in it forever.   Easier to stay away.

But something compelled me to spray it the other day. I have no idea why. I hate crying.  In fact, it makes me feel sick and the next day I have such a smashing headache I can barely function.  I guess I was willing to take the plunge.

I miss her but as they say, time heals old wounds. To be more specific, it makes one forget the tiny details of another’s existence.

So after I mopped up my sobbing face, I moved on to organizing my office and slowly it has developed into my little zen area.  Just a few pics to hang, my diffuser to set up and we are good to go.

Speaking of diffusers, I live for that stuff.  I have always been a sucker for essential oils.  A few drops of tea tree in my bath with a cup of Epsom salts and watch the detox begin!  A spritz of lavender spray on my pillow and nighty night.  I picked up this headache blend the other day and if I could bathe in it I would. Think peppermint and eucalyptus. Serious goodness.

If you ever get a chance, stop in at a Saje store or visit their shop online. Addictive ! You will leave with more than you came in with (ie. My first trip I was $200 down and no regrets).

Well my coffee awaits as does my day job so I off I go.  Enjoy your week, dear readers, and we shall chat very soon  J


Downsizing at 45 ?!

I decided to take a break from the crazy life I have been living lately and sit down to write this blog post.

I am looking around my cluttered office filled with boxes (and more boxes) and I am eager to unpack and set everything up !  Our lives for the past several weeks have been nothing but packing and unpacking as we moved out of our rental home we have lived in since selling our larger home last year.  Yes folks, I have become a statistic. The mid-life downsizer. 

After loads of consideration on where to move (east or west coast) we ended up staying pretty much right where we are for the sake of the children.  They love their school and right now that’s pretty important.  So we purchased a 3-bedroom new build townhome in a new subdivision.   

At no time in my life did I think I would say “Yaaay, a townhome!” because the thought never appealed to me. Connected to a neighbor on one side, our home faces a large expanse of green space (ignore the hydro towers).

To be honest, I am happier than in a pig in shit. 

The town home is expansive at around 2500 sq ft, modern, sleek and even has a home office on the main floor.  I am in love.   Once fully set up it will, dare I say it, rock ;)

But the reality of getting older (I turned 45 yesterday) and downsizing already is somewhat of a hard swallow.  Alas, it is what it is.

I have oddly enough started a bucket list – ranging from everything to learning a web design code to buying spices at a Moroccan souk!  As usual, I am all over the map. It’s how I roll. I have also decided to start planning for my retirement already.  Sure I have 20 yrs til then but never to early to start figuring it out. Thank heavens for a healthy pension but I seriously want to take some courses and dive into social media.  I think telecommuting after retirement and handling the PR for a company would be fantastic.  So best to hone up on those skills now and build a portfolio.  

So there, dear readers, is my life in a nutshell.  I sit here now preparing for a busy day at work and waiting for Mike to arrive with my aquarium and fish; the LAST thing to move into our home from the old house.  Yes, I have a thing for fish. They float around in cool waters and are pretty weightless and graceful.  GOALS ;)